Higher Learning

There are many who go looking for inspiration to strike, and for me I usually have an idea, a tiny seed that I plant and then I’ll wander through the woods of the world looking for what tree it’ll turn into. For instance in this shoot I knew that it visually represented the tea party that our young child would have with our new character Lur’mira, and I knew that I wanted it to be spectacular and whimsical but I wanted to be careful not to echo Alice in Wonderland, as we have a young girl that just entered what could easily be titled as her own wonderland, through a magic door rather than a rabbit hole, but certainly it would begin to seem too closely mirrored if the next great scene was a mad tea party.

 

Our Child who has yet to find her name stumbles across many tables lavishly set and I had the thought to have them go from picnic blanket to low table with pillows for seats to a normal banquet table to bar stool height, showing an ascension… but in my mind when I read that chapter the tables were at great height, she had to work to get up to them, and never gave a thought to how she would then get down at the time.

 

There is a Reliquarian Sketch Book, and while playing with the concept this was how it manifested on the paper. In searching for a floating table concept I came across an image: After the floating dinner party, Northumberland, 2011 by Tim Walker And it was the closest to the image in my head that I had seen materialized, except I wanted decadent, and over the top table settings… a Garden Tea Party, in Rococo Trimmings, within a Tim Walker Reminiscent Setting, with Fairytale like Charm… and so the Higher Learning shoot was born.

 

 

It was a 3 month gestation from the time I wrote the chapter and drew the initial sketch until the shoot on May 23rd. There was costuming, and makeup testing, and menu selection and construction of the sets, and location scouting, and problem solving, and light testing, and more than a few round table discussions with the key artists and players that came in to make it happen. In the end it took almost a week to begin writing the blog because I couldn’t narrow down all the beautiful photos I wanted to use… but that final image definitely made it worth the effort, and the experience of creating with so many amazing minds and artists was inspiring and fulfilling in a way I don’t think I could properly articulate… It is quite a humbling and exciting experience to have people you admire come to be part of a grand vision… it makes you magic for a moment, and you create entire worlds, people, places, a fantastic reality where it didn’t exist only moments before… for one day we all got a glimpse into the Realm of the Reliquarian and what that beautiful, etherial world is like, and we got to live there for the day. I could not have asked to share the experience with better people.

 

 

“Arts patronage refers to the support that kings, popes and the wealthy have provided to artists such as musicians, painters, and sculptors.” The word “patron” derives from the Latin patronus, “patron”, one who gives benefits to another. So I certainly consider those supporting through Patreon my personal Patronus Charms.

 

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At the heart of it, Higher Learning represents learning to see things differently, and we did that, beginning with this outdated bridesmaid’s gown. I guess part of me knew it had yet to see it’s full potential.

 

Remy’s character: Lur’Mira, she’s… controversial. We don’t know that she’s a villain or not yet. One thing we do know is that this interaction with her changes the view of how are girl sees, well; everything. So it is was not lost on me that there was a symbiotic relationship between this moment and the scene we were building to, where right before her eyes Cadence saw Remy take something plain, and begin to make something magic of it. We do a lot of creating here, a lot of repurposing, a lot of seeing things that others don’t see within them. It made me come off as strange and quirky as a child, but I think it’s one of the best gifts I give my children, surrounding them with the odd ones, the misfits, the outcasts who now are the only ones that hold the keys to these magical realms… In the sunlit afternoon in our gardens Remy taught Cadence how to see something magnificent in what others saw as no longer relevant… and so once more, my life imitated my art… or the other way around.

 

Once I laid all the hand stitched flowers out meticulously in the desired order. Sweetie came and batted them all over my floor… I, like all cat owners have a love/hate relationship with my feline.

 

The stitching is atrocious, it’s more a costume than a wearable functional garment, but Mackenzie, and I were still giddy with excitement looking at our completed dress. So much that we immediately, obsessively called Remy repeatedly until she came to try it on.

 

Lur’Mira in a word is Deception. The name comes from Lur, Swedish for deception, and Mira from Mirage. I felt this embodied that nicely since the entire dress changes personality depending on which side you view it from, and Remy herself is equally chameleon like as a model. As soon as she put it on, even without the hair and make up as just a test fitting I saw her fade within herself and Lur’Mira emerge from some depth, enticed by the gown.

 

One of my favorite pieces of the wardrobe was Lur’Mira’s shoes. Everything was sickeningly sweet on the table, and I love that we carried that decadence into her attire.

 

 

The second dress was worse than the first dress in terms of being outdated… it was so bad it was good, and it too sat in my studio for some time, knowing it would have it’s day, long before the Reliquarian had even become a thought in my mind as a project. Most little girls play dress up, I love that Cadence gets to see that you don’t have to stop playing when you grow up, that she is constantly surrounded by imagination, and creativity, and a sense of wonder, and fun, and awe.

 

 

Remy was my very first client, she has been with me and in a way was the doorway through this entire artistic journey. At one point between having 40 apprentices from 17 different countries, running the protege program in the Arcanum for new Masters, my father in law being in the hospital, kids, normal client business, and life of a military wife I was highly stressing being able to catch up and stay on schedule for our impending shoot date. There wasn’t an opportunity for reshooting this one as all the foods and desserts were being made in real time and would spoil, and I was having a bit of an anxiety attack over the whole thing.

 

After another insanely busy day I rushed into the studio to try to get some work done on the dress before the kids got home and I had to take the boy to baseball, and was greeted by the dress already properly hemmed and proudly displaying a love note from Remy. I can not accurately convey how essential it is to surround yourself with good people willing to not only support but work for your endeavors and dreams with you… I’ve always been amazingly lucky to not find myself in short supply of them when needed.

 

One of the problems we’re facing is that this project is as an endeavor that spans years. While I love nothing more than the idea of doing what I love each day, it poses a problem that we often see in films, where the kids grow faster in real life than their characters do in the movies. We’re definitely seeing this in Cadence, where a woman from teens to 20s, or 20s to 30s can be more easily camouflaged in terms of time passage, Cadence’s height, her figure, her facial bone structure has been dramatically changing as she leaves behind childhood. When voicing these concerns Remy reminded me that a lot of how we dress is indicative of our age so by making sure to dress her in younger costuming we could nudge the idea of her still being
small.

 

A lot of my inspiration comes from different artistic avenues… I was first a painter, and so painting will always be my first true love. In the late 1800’s the younger children would still be lavishly dressed, but where the women had floor length gowns that covered even their shoes the girls would be at mid calf, incidentally called Tea Length now.

 

In particular Friedrich August Von Kaulbach’s Portrait of a Young Girl in a Pink Dress for me embodied what I wanted Cadence to exude in this piece… I wanted her, the set, Remy all to have a sort of other worldly, painting like, dream quality to the image. It plays to the innocence of childhood stifled beneath frills and proper conduct, and in the case of our character: Great Purpose.

 

Creating these images have reacquainted me with who I am and what I most loved in being an artist, that sort of eloquent grace I somehow felt lacked in my photography… I joke often that photography is painting with instant gratification, so of course leave it to me to create a project where each image requires months of prep before the shutter fire, just as my paintings would be months from first brush stroke to finished commission.

 

 

I have never identified with “Photographer” photography is a dialect I speak fluently, but Art is the message, and there are many languages I long to speak it in.

 

I think for me the true allure is the creation of art within art. To know I not only created the image itself, but that no element of the photograph is without my fingerprints upon it. I create because I can not help but to create, and the beauty is within the details.

 

Metamorphosis is a recurring theme throughout this story. It will begin to show itself to you in the very near future with upcoming shoots. Metamorphosis has also been the theme of the project itself… Thread to lace, clay to key, dilapidated screen door to magic entrance, outdated fashions to couture costuming. Ordinary to exceptional, mundane to magical. It has been a really beautiful experience watching and participating in the transitioning of this entire realm and all that are within it, from a mere thought to a place others can journey with me, and see, and touch. I think at the end of this path it will be more than just props and costumes that have changed.

 

Once the dresses were done we needed tables, and my darling husband heard the words that strike fear into him every time: “Baby, can you build…” Though he’ll rarely admit it, he secretly loves it.

 

We spent days building the scaffold to hold the tables in the air. I come with brilliant inspirations, and they translate as problems for him to solve. Like how to we put two girls and an 8′ long table suspended in the air with priceless antique china and decadent desserts over the water. While I focused on it’s inspiration and magic, he focused on it’s stability and strength, which in actuality echoes how we are in nearly all places of our life.

 

 

People are lucky to have someone that loves them enough to support their dreams and ambitions, but I have more than that. He works for mine as hard as I do, tirelessly. I guess that isn’t accurate… more sincerely sometimes he’s exhausted, and frustrated, and it’s the last thing he wants to do, and yet he shows up anyway, whatever the challenge. I think what has made him such a wonderful soldier is also what makes him a wonderful husband. This isn’t the first time he has burnt the midnight oil for me, it won’t be the last, and I am always humbled to witness how much he loves me in these moments. It has often been the encouragement that has kept me from waving white flags. With him at my side I am fearless. He never once loved me for who I was, but for who he saw me capable of being, he believed in it so hard that I rose to the challenge to prove him right, and it has made all the difference in my life.

 

I think I’ve always known that our children will follow our example before our advice. It sets my heart at ease, when I see my son following his father, tools in hand, to know he’s learning far more than how to swing a hammer.

 

As if one table wasn’t difficult enough we had 4 to place in the shot. The week before the shoot while Michael was in the field, Uncle Awesome came over and Mackenzie to help start to really set in the entire set… and as we tried to figure out measurements and equally dividing the table top for the leg supports I realized I DID need all that math they told me I would use in real life one day. Well, I need to know how to do math or I need to have people that know how to do math, and since one of Mack’s online aliases begins with MathWiz, we’re covered 😉

 

I am no stranger to rolling up my sleeves, I thank my parents for teaching me strong work ethic at a very young age, but with needing everything to be at a good vantage point for the shoot I spent a lot of time standing and saying “a little to the left”. It was amusing and difficult. I always want to have my hands on whatever we’re doing.

 

What I would call my childhood home most would consider a museum. Comes from being raised by a hippie flower child and an antique dealer. I was destined to be a strange bird, and so I became a Lark.

 

 

Originally we had wanted to suspend the tables on pulleys, but the week leading up to the shoot was quite windy and so we realized we were essentially making enormous swings… that were housing antiques, desserts, and people. The wind also kept pulling our cloths, and so once the structures were done we ended up stapling the tablecloths.

 

My greatest concern in all this was the girls plunging into the water in an epic fall from these table they are sitting at 8 feet above. The chairs being damaged actually presented an opportunity to anchor them properly without damaging the actual chair.

 

Of course we could have shot the table in the studio on a backdrop and composited it into a fantasy background, but there is something magical that we captured here that no matter how visually and technically precise would have been lost in a composite. It was the energy on the day of, the magic of seeing it all come together and manifest in front of us. The spark of something monumental being built that would have lost its grandeur otherwise.

 

Even in the dry rehearsal, just making sure the chairs were anchored and the table was steady I could feel everyone’s excitement begin to rise, and a sense of accomplishment and wonder. I didn’t want to create the illusion of floating tables suspended in the air, I wanted everyone that was part of the project, to see it become reality, to exist in this moment of the story more completely than they could as a viewer of the image. And for a day we did. For a day it was real, and I got to share it with the people that wanted it to be real as much as I did.

 

Tell my dad “I’m looking for rococo style in this shoot” He will go find you silver candlabras actually from the 18th century. Then he’ll tell you how much they’re worth, so that you bite your nails the entire shoot afraid they’ll fall.

 

 

I remember being at disney land and there being these faucets, attached to nothing, pouring water out. It was magic. I wanted that fantastic element with the teapots, and I didn’t want to composite it or digitally create it, I wanted something tangible.

 

The Tea that Pours Itself is one of my favorite little details, and in the overall shot, it is little more than that: a detail. In fact it might be something many won’t notice at first with the image. I think that attention to detail is where excellence is rooted and grows from.

 

The tree ruptured table was actually Michael’s idea, and he was excited to build it. It very much appealed to me because I am romanced by the places that have been forsaken by our societies, and nature has reclaimed them. So I was enchanted with the idea of a table that existed and was taken by a table, lifted and upheaved and set off balance. The contents pouring down the table, sugar cubes avalanching from their nest, and the tea desperate to pour a final cup before shattering to the ground below.

 

 

Chef, artist, contractor, model, stylist, designer, decorator, photographer, there were many roles, and Cadence got to be a part of each with me.

 

I spend a lot of time marveling at how fast a decade passed since I became a mother… it is a bittersweet experience watching her grow, and I feel it very deeply and with great love. I have been told on both sides that focusing on one comes at the sacrifice of the other, I can have children or a career, but trying to have both would result in me having neither. I wouldn’t submit to that reality. And so if I couldn’t have two then I would meld them into one. I love getting to share my artistry and creativity with Cadence and Steven, getting to have them be a part of my deepest passion. I love that they get to see that they don’t have to give up their dreams, not for family, for marriage, for adulthood, for anything. That they can chase that ambition, that passion, that purpose, that desire, to their heart’s content until their very last moment and breath. I hope that I am doing right by them, that they remain proud of me when they are adults, as much as they are as children. I hope I am creating a legacy I can hand down to them, and the generations that follow after, and that legacy is deeply rooted in hope, and strong work ethic, and passion, and courage to follow what makes
them happy.

 

It is a far higher calling to be a mother than it ever has been to be an artist, but then an artist creates, and what is motherhood but a divine act of creation?

 

 

It’s still overwhelming to me how many people came together to make this shoot happen, Siena sitting arranging cakes is a far cry from the Monarch character she’ll be playing in the next scenes, and Mackenzie playing Elegy is also out of character here… these two have become like little sisters in the past year, I deeply adore them both.

 

Jaye was the first to reach out for the Reliquarian project, more than a year ago now, telling me he was a potter, which was a modest interpretation of his immense talent, he brought with him his incredible family all of which are full of artistry down to their bones.

 

Charles on the other hand came to me at the beginning of a photographic journey and found video which in my humble opinion is his higher calling… having him on this project documenting behind the scenes I genuinely believe is my biggest asset towards success.

 

He brought along his beautiful right hand girl, who is quickly picking up enough skills to rival him, and it was amazing knowing between the two of them every moment of this experience was preserved for us.

 

 

It wasn’t long before everything began transforming. Remy into Lur’Mira, my dining room into a makeup salon, my kitchen into a full fledged bakery, the back yard into a fantasy realm.

 

I sometimes feel like Cadence is desensitized to what all little girls love playing, her friends come over and marvel, wowed by the sets and costumes and repeat how lucky she is, and I think because she grew up with it around her she’s acclimated to it. Abnormal is Normal.

 

 

It has become a favorite past time of my team to tease me about having ideas… that whole light bulb going off… you can see it with me in real time because when I have a spark I throw my hands in the air and the thought is preceded by a profound “OOOOOOOOO!!!!!” Inspiration erupts from my imagination, and chaos ensues in my thoughts as I work on materializing it into my reality… which usually leads to an equal measure eruption of people, art and things in my life…

 

This photo is a pretty accurate representation of what it looks like when Art trumps Life. Mackenzie would have swore my life was in a constant state of upheaval and take out when she first entered the scene because it was summer, there was little schedule, Michael was deployed, and I was running on adrenaline, imagination and caffeine, being a single mom, an artist, running a full time studio, working as a Master Artist in the Arcanum, while also trying to begin the Reliquarian with sincere intent. It is a beautiful chaotic mess that can be overwhelming, but is not to be missed.

 

Mackenzie’s mom and my dad are cousins, but my dad is my step dad, except he and my mother never actually got married… so we’re not blood related, and my mom and him aren’t together anymore. Coming from a broken home I suppose is better than being in one; and for whatever hardships it presented me, it was a small price to pay for the family I was welcomed into from the time I was five and still break bread with 2 decades and an entire generation later. My dad used to tell me we’re more important than blood… we chose each other, everyone else was luck of the draw.

 

I couldn’t help singing “I’m a little tea pot” throughout the day, especially when my dad in true form brought me an immensely dainty and impossibly small tea set that belonged to Mackenzie and my Great Grandmother. How none of the pieces were lost over the years amazes me, but it was definitely the crowning jewel of Lur’Mira’s costuming for me.

 

While hair and makeup was coming together in the dining room all the sweet succulents were being whipped up into their glorious creations in the kitchen.

 

 

Marie Antoinette never actually said “Let them eat cake!” {in case you didn’t know} but if she ever was going to, it would be after tasting the amazing cake pops Mrs. Jacqueline Crist made.

 

Hustle and bustle, silver and crystal, hair and makeup, lollipops and licorice, cookies and cakes, and a sun fading quickly in towards the horizon. I was surrounded by sugar and anxiety as the clock ticked closer to the shoot time.

 

 

In a world that is constantly telling us our feeling about ourselves, and other’s feelings about us is related in majority to our looks, we’re always looking at the latest exercises, diets, but this week, we simply enacted the cupcake diet: Feed friends more cupcakes than I consume so they get fatter and I look skinny by comparison.

 

Even the simple things were not simple. What looked like simple cookie sandwiches were made with real lavender, whipped into the cream centers and sprinkled throughout the cookie, the almond cookies were so light and fluffy we were worried none would actually make it to the table.

 

I am a sucker for anything Lemon, it’s my favorite flavor everything, so the Lemon bars were immediately singing my name with their siren song, and the tart, sweet blueberries and strawberries donning them, and the fresh lemon zest garnish added as much texture as it did taste.

 

To. Die. For. {Afterwards everyone took the beloveds home, and these were quickly and safely hidden in my most inaccessible cabinet}

 

These lovely lemon tea cakes were the perfect blend of sweet and tart. The crowning detail was the live flowers: Pansies and Violets, painted in a vodka sugar coating. They looked and tasted amazing! {You can get the recipe by Becoming a Patron at www.patreon.com/JessicaLark}

 

Man’s heart {and his waist line} is through his stomach. My dad took all of this turkish delight with him when he left… and ate it before his car pulled in his driveway. Everyone had high blood sugar after this shoot I think.

 

I’m not sure why cucumber seems to be a tea party staple, but everywhere I researched it popped up, I’d never had one before the day of this shoot, but I loved the color and texture and taste contrasts that it provided against all of the sweets. These ones had cucumber, crab, and carrot shavings, and were quite good.

 

I spent as much time prepping food as I did setting up the set. It was really fun zesting, slicing, and garnishing.

 

 

I think part of what made me so successful at an early stage in my career was my ability to stretch funds to pull double duty. All this amazing food looks glorious on the table setting, but in the hours leading up to the shoot everyone was snacking on foods usually reserved for special occasions, from the prosciutto, the fresh crab meat, the smoked salmon, the ripe fruit, the gourmet crackers, the tea cakes, and designer candies, and chocolates and sugar sculpted roses… everyone was enchanted by the visuals, and enticed by the tastes, and all my loved ones friends, and fellow creatives ate well. Food brings people together, as an Italian my grandmother reinforced that into me at a young age, it nourishes, so it’s a way of showing you love them. And I do, I love everyone that I invited to be a part of this with me.

 

We speak often about the need to nourish our spirits, minds, and hearts as we do our bodies… when something is healing and fulfilling we say it is ‘food for the soul’ There was a lot of Soul Food at this table. A lot of Love. A lot of Passion. From the hands that built the table, to the hands that set the plates, to the hands that designed the centerpieces, to the hands that made the food, there was love in every part… for the work, for the artistry, for each other.

 

My mother always told me that what you feel gets into the food, so you never cook when your sad or angry. To the contrary there was so much love and happiness, and excitement and anticipation seeping into every element of this food, you could feel it in the fabric, and taste it in the treats. It was overwhelming.

 

 

There was almost a simultaneous breath holding… the light was fading and so was our energy, it was more than 9 hours of prep for this moment, and with the gorgeous decor, the beautiful models, the magic tables… I was so amazed at what we had created.  ‘We’ is the essential word.  It wasn’t me, it was the catering, the carpentry, the decorating, the costuming, the hair, the make up, the antique embellishments, the videography and tech… more than 20 hands came to work on this project, and then there were our generous patrons that had been financially supporting the project.  All as essential as anything I had done to bring it together.  It was magical, and it was because of them.  “Many hands make light work.” Remy said matter of factly, but to me it was like a mantra, a prayer.  Those many hands are why I am able to create these.

 

 

I think part of what made me so successful at an early stage in my career was my ability to stretch funds to pull double duty. All this amazing food looks glorious on the table setting, but in the hours leading up to the shoot everyone was snacking on foods usually reserved for special occasions, from the prosciutto, the fresh crab meat, the smoked salmon, the ripe fruit, the gourmet crackers, the tea cakes, and designer candies, and chocolates and sugar sculpted roses… everyone was enchanted by the visuals, and enticed by the tastes, and all my loved ones friends, and fellow creatives ate well. Food brings people together, as an Italian my grandmother reinforced that into me at a young age, it nourishes, so it’s a way of showing you love them. And I do, I love everyone that I invited to be a part of this with me.

 

We speak often about the need to nourish our spirits, minds, and hearts as we do our bodies… when something is healing and fulfilling we say it is ‘food for the soul’ There was a lot of Soul Food at this table. A lot of Love. A lot of Passion. From the hands that built the table, to the hands that set the plates, to the hands that designed the centerpieces, to the hands that made the food, there was love in every part… for the work, for the artistry, for each other.

 

 

My mother always told me that what you feel gets into the food, so you never cook when your sad or angry. To the contrary there was so much love and happiness, and excitement and anticipation seeping into every element of this food, you could feel it in the fabric, and taste it in the treats. It was overwhelming.

 

Celebration of success quickly gave away to consumption of sweets, and shortly after to exhaustion.  Everyone had worked so hard, and it was such a long day.  Most found floor space, corners and couches to nestle in as the plates and champagne bottles emptied, and fell into much deserved sleep.
The role of photographer was slowly shed and that of mother was recovered.  There is something about them sleeping that quiets my own heart and fills me with such genuine gratitude that I am often moved to tears.  My family will wave their hands and roll their eyes at that, and my daughter is quick to proclaim that “Mama is sensitive, she cries at commercials!”  Which isn’t untrue, but still I am so thankful for those I call friends and family, and I am always fearful and hopeful that I am showing enough appreciation for the gift of their presence… Sometimes I am certain I fail them.  Each of them.  I guess we all do at times, and we can only hope that the efforts we make are enough.

 

 

As they fell asleep I packed up the boxes and boxes of left over goodies for Michael to take in to his unit.  My family has always been military, Grandfathers, Uncles, Husband, Parents, Siblings… in seeing his father all these years Steven too has developed quite a patriotic heart, and it is likely I will someday be the mother of a soldier as well… so the least I can do is honor my military and my Italian backgrounds and feed them.

 

The finished print was incredible, I was so happy with all the details, notes within the symphony of this art piece… my greatest attempt at an intricate shoot.  It was the little things, the sugar cubes tumbling across the table, the tea pouring itself, the decadent desserts, the fruit and cakes and pies, the antique silver filigrees, the flowers, the flowing fabrics, the dainty tea set in her hair, the ribbons on the gown, the candle light, Michael’s Army chest that his father had given him, and has gone around the world with both of them… The luxury is in the details.

 

 

By far this was the most intricate shoot I have ever done, the most people I have had on set, the longest prep and set up time… it was a feat to say the least.  One thing I have learned is that in the moment I feel incredibly accomplished, and then I look back and realize how much I had to learn, and the moment I am realizing that about the past is the moment I will next feel that way about in the future… something which echoes as a lesson for her in that moment we created.  I suppose it’s a tough lesson in some regards, a lesson in wisdom, in humility… perhaps for me this in some ways is about taking some of the difficult and ugly lessons and presenting them through artistry and articulation in a way that others might embrace it more easily.

 

Perhaps I’ll look back at this endeavor as a whole and realize that what I projected outward as my story for the world was simply a message for myself.  Perhaps it takes a long time to realize everything outside ourselves is a manifestation of what is within… Perhaps that is the true Higher Learning.